(From the archives, but updated a bit…)
If you’re looking for some religious stuff to do, while still being totally lost, here’s a little starter list with some neat ideas.
And yes, don’t worry: If you’re determined to avoid God, and don’t want to give Him what He’s after, you can still do all this stuff. In fact, doing this stuff has been known to HELP some to avoid the dread and risk and messiness of really knowing God. You can do it all without giving Him your heart.
None of these things will save you. Plus, they’ll keep you busy! (By the way, FunFact: I totally did the accompanying graphic by myself. I avoid possible copyright issues in this manner. Thanks!)
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Be a scripture memorizer
Teach Sunday School
Tithe
Be a brilliant theologian
Lead the Cookies-for-Newcomers Ministry
Think you’re one of the Elect
Listen to Christian radio
Work in Christian radio
Protest same-sex marriage
Protest people who protest same-sex marriage
Lead “powerful worship”
Preach the Word for an hour-and-a-half every Sunday
Be a missionary in Africa
Host a small group from your church
Occupy Wall Street
Vote pro-life
Go to seminary
Feel guilty every day
Pray for the President
Tweet with #Christian #hashtags
Have a brilliant, theologically astute understanding of Grace
Talk to people about Christ
Say the “sinner’s prayer”
Speak in tongues
Wear a WWJD? bracelet
Start an award-winning ministry to people with AIDS
Be an elder in your church
Argue with your teacher about evolution
Argue with Ken Ham about evolution
Lead family devotions
Keep trying not to sin
Argue theology on your blog
Argue theology on this blog
“Take a stand” for prayer in school
Start a hip, organic church
Use Christian-y cusswords, instead of the real flippin’ thing
“Take” or “receive” communion every week, month, quarter, or year, without fail
Come forward at church camp
“Take a stand” for Truth and combat the lies of Rob Bell
Place a sticker of a fish, preferably eating a Darwin fish, on your car
Pray two hours a day
Confidently trace your church’s lineage back to Peter
Confidently trace your church’s lineage back to Calvin
Read Max Lucado
Read the Bible every day
Argue that drinking alcohol would ruin your “witness”
Witness to people in your neighborhood home-brewing discussion group
Say “under God” really loud while you pledge your allegiance to a flag
Rue those new choruses that lack deep theology
Write lists like this
Personally baptize people
Personally lead people in singing Chris Tomlin songs
Personally baptize Chris Tomlin
Sponsor a child through Compassion International
Get a Christian tattoo
Get a tattoo of Chris Tomlin baptizing children through Compassion International
Steer clear of R-rated movies
Homeschool your children
Mail only REAL Christmas cards, ones with pictures of Jesus and scripture
Be a member of the Tea Party
Be amember of Sojourners and consider yourself enlightened beyond the Tea Party
Be a “prophetic voice”
Be a counselor at a Graham crusade
Two words: CHRISTIAN PUPPETRY
Wear a Christian shirt that looks kinda like a known-product T-shirt, but says a Christian-y thing on it
Organize VBS
Wear Tebow jersey to a Raiders game
Weep openly at small group
Work at Focus on the Family
Speak at a Focus on the Family event
Tsk tsk Harry Potter
Have a model marriage
Know who Priscilla and Aquilla are
Know who Shane and Shane are
Watch, repeatedly, “Fireproof”
Force your kids to watch, repeatedly, “Fireproof”
Go to confession
Eschew the banalities of commercial Christian culture and listen to Sufjan Stevens and Over the Rhine
Be a key member of a church that offers solid, Biblical teaching — none of that namby-pamby stuff
Be a pastor who offers solid, Biblical teaching — none of that namby-pamby stuff
Watch FoxNews
Believe that people who watch FoxNews lack your sophistication
On Halloween, give the neighborhood kids “Cross-Pops” (TM) candy, plus a tract
Lead your neighbors to Christ
Be correct about every. single. thing.
“Know”, theologically, that this post is true, but live as if it isn’t