Here’s a “Bucket List” of Things to Do Before Going to Hell

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(From the archives, but updated a bit…)

If you’re looking for some religious stuff to do, while still being totally lost, here’s a little starter list with some neat ideas.

And yes, don’t worry:  If you’re determined to avoid God, and don’t want to give Him what He’s after, you can still do all this stuff.  In fact, doing this stuff has been known to HELP some to avoid the dread and risk and messiness of really knowing God. You can do it all without giving Him your heart.

None of these things will save you.  Plus, they’ll keep you busy!  (By the way, FunFact: I totally did the accompanying graphic by myself.  I avoid possible copyright issues in this manner. Thanks!)

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Be a scripture memorizer

Teach Sunday School

Tithe

Be a brilliant theologian

Lead the Cookies-for-Newcomers Ministry

Think you’re one of the Elect

Listen to Christian radio

Work in Christian radio

Protest same-sex marriage

Protest people who protest same-sex marriage

Lead “powerful worship”

Preach the Word for an hour-and-a-half every Sunday

Be a missionary in Africa

Host a small group from your church

Occupy Wall Street

Vote pro-life

Go to seminary

Feel guilty every day

Pray for the President

Tweet with #Christian #hashtags

Have a brilliant, theologically astute understanding of Grace

Talk to people about Christ

Say the “sinner’s prayer”

Speak in tongues

Wear a WWJD? bracelet

Start an award-winning ministry to people with AIDS

Be an elder in your church

Argue with your teacher about evolution

Argue with Ken Ham about evolution

Lead family devotions

Keep trying not to sin

Argue theology on your blog

Argue theology on this blog

“Take a stand” for prayer in school

Start a hip, organic church

Use Christian-y cusswords, instead of the real flippin’ thing

“Take” or “receive” communion every week, month, quarter, or year, without fail

Come forward at church camp

“Take a stand” for Truth and combat the lies of Rob Bell

Place a sticker of a fish, preferably eating a Darwin fish, on your car

Pray two hours a day

Confidently trace your church’s lineage back to Peter

Confidently trace your church’s lineage back to Calvin

Read Max Lucado

Read the Bible every day

Argue that drinking alcohol would ruin your “witness”

Witness to people in your neighborhood home-brewing discussion group

Say “under God” really loud while you pledge your allegiance to a flag

Rue those new choruses that lack deep theology

Write lists like this

Personally baptize people

Personally lead people in singing Chris Tomlin songs

Personally baptize Chris Tomlin

Sponsor a child through Compassion International

Get a Christian tattoo

Get a tattoo of Chris Tomlin baptizing children through Compassion International

Steer clear of R-rated movies

Homeschool your children

Mail only REAL Christmas cards, ones with pictures of Jesus and scripture

Be a member of the Tea Party

Be amember of Sojourners and consider yourself enlightened beyond the Tea Party

Be a “prophetic voice”

Be a counselor at a Graham crusade

Two words: CHRISTIAN PUPPETRY

Wear a Christian shirt that looks kinda like a known-product T-shirt, but says a Christian-y thing on it

Organize VBS

Wear Tebow jersey to a Raiders game

Weep openly at small group

Work at Focus on the Family

Speak at a Focus on the Family event

Tsk tsk Harry Potter

Have a model marriage

Know who Priscilla and Aquilla are

Know who Shane and Shane are

Watch, repeatedly, “Fireproof”

Force your kids to watch, repeatedly, “Fireproof”

Go to confession

Eschew the banalities of commercial Christian culture and listen to Sufjan Stevens and Over the Rhine

Be a key member of a church that offers solid, Biblical teaching — none of that namby-pamby stuff

Be a pastor who offers solid, Biblical teaching — none of that namby-pamby stuff

Watch FoxNews

Believe that people who watch FoxNews lack your sophistication

On Halloween, give the neighborhood kids “Cross-Pops” (TM) candy, plus a tract

Lead your neighbors to Christ

Be correct about every. single. thing.

“Know”, theologically, that this post is true, but live as if it isn’t

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