5 Things I Want My Daughter to Look for in a Man

This is something I scribbled down and talked about on our podcast. Producer Sherri said I should post it, so here goes.

1. He takes responsibility

He’s not an excuses guy. He doesn’t run away from his own mistakes. He doesn’t see himself as a victim.

To me, taking responsibility is the essence of masculinity.

And there’s a word for a man who will not take responsibility: “Child”.

2. He practices self-denial

This can be shown in many ways: He can successfully work a job he doesn’t like. He shows discipline with his sexuality and with his money.

Or – how about this: He listens to people even when they’re not talking about something he enjoys.

3. He doesn’t respond in anger

Some men think acting out in anger is a mark of manliness. They’re wrong. Toddlers can throw tantrums.

Here are real marks of strength: Self-control, perspective, and forgiveness.

4. He gives attention, respect, and kindness to NON-attractive females

And a very important, related question: How does he treat people who can do nothing for him?

If he tends to ignore (or mocks) them, you’re very possibly dealing with a narcissist. Run away. Now.

5. His instinct is to protect, not hurt

He doesn’t take advantage of you when you’re weak.

And when he encounters the vulnerable… he doesn’t make fun of them. He defends and befriends them… even when no one’s looking.

By the way: Even if a man seems “church impressive”, check for this stuff. Being on stage, leading worship, talking a great Christian game, being admired in public, leading a ministry – that’s neato.

But it has nothing to do with being a great husband.




Meet Daniel

Daniel is a boy from Ethiopia with a bone condition. Read his story.

Photo of Daniel before surgery Before
Question Mark After