This is something I scribbled down and talked about on our podcast. Producer Sherri said I should post it, so here goes.
1. He takes responsibility
He’s not an excuses guy. He doesn’t run away from his own mistakes. He doesn’t see himself as a victim.
To me, taking responsibility is the essence of masculinity.
And there’s a word for a man who will not take responsibility: “Child”.
2. He practices self-denial
This can be shown in many ways: He can successfully work a job he doesn’t like. He shows discipline with his sexuality and with his money.
Or – how about this: He listens to people even when they’re not talking about something he enjoys.
3. He doesn’t respond in anger
Some men think acting out in anger is a mark of manliness. They’re wrong. Toddlers can throw tantrums.
Here are real marks of strength: Self-control, perspective, and forgiveness.
4. He gives attention, respect, and kindness to NON-attractive females
And a very important, related question: How does he treat people who can do nothing for him?
If he tends to ignore (or mocks) them, you’re very possibly dealing with a narcissist. Run away. Now.
5. His instinct is to protect, not hurt
He doesn’t take advantage of you when you’re weak.
And when he encounters the vulnerable… he doesn’t make fun of them. He defends and befriends them… even when no one’s looking.
By the way: Even if a man seems “church impressive”, check for this stuff. Being on stage, leading worship, talking a great Christian game, being admired in public, leading a ministry – that’s neato.
But it has nothing to do with being a great husband.